Archive for Purpose


Posted in Life, Present with tags , , , , , , , on November 30, 2010 by Shea Atkin

Doesn’t usually present itself in a pretty package.

Most of the time, for me, it is the last choice from an undesirable outcome.

My purpose usually stems from pain.  It is a reconciliation of past and present to create a fulfilling future.  Right now, it is definitely not all roses.  Actually life has definitely gotten in the way of my dreams–but my dreams are fluidly (and sometimes abruptly)  evolving.

I used to react to situations more often than not.  Over the past couple of months–I have actively purposed to be proactive.  Some days, that simply means that I don’t lay down and die.  Other days I feel extreme inspiration and get much accomplished, or not.  Either way, I know I’m doing something right because I have a peace that I never had before. “It” finally clicked–even though I can’t exactly put my finger on what “it” was.  I just know “it” exists.  Life flows from the unlikeliest of sources and I am surrounded by feelings of gratitude rather than my original default of despair.

Undoubtedly I will find myself in a pity party eventually.  But I definitely don’t want to send out invitations to it.  I choose to look at myself and ask the hard questions as to why I assume the world is supposed to revolve around me.  More often than not, my mind inevitably gets off of myself and focuses on the bigger picture, whatever that may be.  As egotistical as it sounds, it’s hard for me to wrap my brain around the fact that I will never “arrive”.  Silly, I know–but sometimes I feel like things are going so great, that I don’t need to keep up my daily routine of “grounding myself”.  For me, grounding usually entails prayer, meditation, volunteer work, connecting with others, helping, etc.  It usually depends on what the day presents, but also, I seem to attract what I put out there.  If I am channeling negativity, I can pretty much assume that positivity isn’t going to come visit–because I won’t let it walk in the door.

All of this to say, purpose is seeming to evolve at the pace of my own hearts progress.  I had an idea of what I wanted my purpose to be, but the more fearless I am with pursuing truth, the foggier “my” purpose seems to be.  I guess it’s not really up to me anyway.  I think I’ll leave it in the hands of my creator.  I’m pretty sure He has got it covered.