Archive for poetry

Fairytale?

Posted in Life, Past, Present with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 18, 2011 by Shea Atkin

I participated in a yoga workshop with my dear friend a few months ago.  We started out with yoga, followed by a guided meditation and ended with a journal entry focused on a certain thought.  Below, I will write the thought and my journal entry about the thought:

*Don’t believe the fairytale you have created through your body.*

At a loss for word is not usually where I find myself.  This can be taken in many different ways.  Right now, my fairytale is just that–a fairytale.  Unattainable, ficticious, Pollyanna bullshit.  I never try because I don’t really believe that it is possible.  That I don’t really deserve the fairytale…I’m not good enough to wear the pretty dress and win the heart of the adoring prince.  I’m the cinderella in this distance, just dreaming–but not accepting the fairytale as potential reality.  Left with scars and memories–a window to watch the world live as I stay confined in my own little prison that I made with my own hands.  Waiting for the key to unlock and be set free, but it is already in my hand. All that needs to happen is making the decision of freedom or slavery.  No one can choose it but me.

I wear the rags as a constant reminder of the resentment against self. The riches are there, but not available until the relentless torture of self is over.  Laziness encompasses all to the point where I would like the best, but I’ll settle for the worst–because it is easy.

Sinking into nausea to escape the self absorption.  Anything to take my mind off of self. The creature that holds my thoughts captive is a reflection of self that materializes so I can embrace and accept what lies beneath the surface.

Morbidity eminent and welcomed at times to take me away from the gift of the present. Escaping the surrender that serenity has freely offered. Choosing death over life, repeatedly.

Succumbing to the lie. Evolving farther away from the truth. Trying to embrace reality on life’s terms instead of my own agenda.

Resonating from within, the sound I have been searching for has been there all along.

Beauty from Ashes

Posted in Life, Present with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 26, 2010 by Shea Atkin

Entertaining the notion of trust–

I step out into the unknown to find the freedom that was hidden by my own will

Understanding the simplicity of faith in love

Gives me the permission to let go of preconceived assumptions–

And live as though it is my first day of this planet

My spirit knows otherwise

It has been around for quite sometime

My body is trying to catch on

Muscle memory is there

I just have to choose to allow the change

My soul is the organizer that ties all of the essential elements together

Without it, I would accomplish nothing

It keeps me interested far beyond human comprehension

And creates something beautiful from absolutely nothing

Breathing in, I find contentment in the pause

Thankful for the fact that I can

I concentrate on this day–

And only this day

Tomorrow is a whole other story

Letting go, I find the capacity to dream bigger

Along with the possibility to do so

Imagining the courage it takes to affect change

To be the change

To want to be the change

Digging down deep for the hidden potential that needs a little irritation to show itself

It lies dormant until pushed in just the right way

Subconscious categories form to create a complex agenda

Though only possible when the time is right

Trust in the process

Whatever that may be

Happy that I am here

With you

Beginning of the End

Posted in Life, Past, Present with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 8, 2010 by Shea Atkin

Discovery when the time has come

To be present–even when forced

Conjuring creativity while channeling authenticity

Alive when recalling the past

Even though it was dead at the time

Or maybe it was just benign

Inclusion of the whole with an abstract approach

Sacrificing self to foster life

Increments of thorough fabrication, personified through experience–

Melded together to produce artistic expression

Hoping for acceptance

But the strength to withstand the opposite

Consistence of constant and conscious awareness–

While vulnerability seeps through

Selfless objectivity being the reward of a life lived in the light

Invited in as a welcomed guest

Appreciative for the gift of opportunity

Humbled by vanity

Longing for what was once rejected

Cyclical balance of compromising solitude

Reciprocation of energy from the very last of choices

Circling back to the origin of the beginning

Ignorance Amplified

Posted in Life, Present with tags , , , , , , , , on December 6, 2010 by Shea Atkin

With the seclusion of purpose.

Ideals confused with entitlement

 

Scavenged by predatory individualism

Singleness of purpose, distorted

Ficticious invasion of self fulfillment

Intrusive objectification of judgement

 

Lethargy invited by stagnant authority

Metaphorical facts laced with grandiosity–presented as desirable–intended for complacency

Selfishness disguised as affection while plagued with the guilt of inactivity

 

Subliminal possibility to claw to the side of understanding,

Yet saturated by ghosts of past darkness

Inferior only by choice

 

Corruption deactivated and then perpetuated

Following examples of mediocracy– while hoping for the opposite

Submerged in fear and drenched with judgement

Unable to look at both sides of the whole, unfortunately

 

Symbolism apparent with traces of longing

Tension exonerated then captured again–

Only to wonder why this always happens.

Infinite Inspiration

Posted in Life, Past, Present with tags , , , , , , , on December 5, 2010 by Shea Atkin

Back towards the sun

Searching for the key that fits

Already in hand

But not ready for use

 

Allowing the vastness to speak loud and clear

With a faint whisper

 

In awe of the brilliance ahead, and within arms reach

Selective charisma untainted by noise

Profoundness simplified

 

Energy ignited by subtleties

Impressive expansion untouched by the masses

Breathing in air that has already been created

Although enjoying it for the first time

 

Beauty revealed in raw form–entrenched in the surreal quietness

Almost deafening to a cluttered soul

Holiness reinvented to the intended form

Acceptance of the natural state of creation

 

Living momentarily in eternity

On the boundary between past and future

Just being

Bottomless

Posted in Present with tags , , , , , , , , , , on November 26, 2010 by Shea Atkin

Spiraling down

Into the maze of myself

Wondering when the bottom will materialize

 

Entrancing image of false love

Objectified by ulterior motives

Used as a means to detrimental end

 

Convinced of validity

Appropriateness is an afterthought

 

The abyss envelops

In a comforting darkness

Enticing with promises

Of idealized complacency

 

Clawing for the soul that was once contained

Now is unreachable due to a shift in perspective

 

Deciphering the fiction from fact

The truth consumes all but my will

Allowing me to identify

The true bottom at the correct time

 

The Wall

Posted in Present with tags , , , , , , , , , on November 23, 2010 by Shea Atkin

Deconstructing figments of imagination

Impenetrable only due to faulty perception

 

Going back to the origin of establishment

Questioning the foundation

And the components used in making its existence

 

Natural elements

Beautifully flawed

All combined to create

The ultimate barrier of architectural perfection

 

Rooted in truth and lies

Flowing through the structure

To evoke

Ambivalence  and destruction–

All at the predetermined time

 

A sturdy integration

Of separate yet equal parts

Each vital for survival of the whole

 

Keeping out

What possibly should be invited in

 

Peaceful visualization

Of life without the need for protection

 

Climbing to the top

Only to find

There is a long fall down to the bottom

 

Scratching the surface

Chipping away pieces–

Little by little

To eventually get to the place

I’ve been searching for

For so long