Archive for Meditation

As I Sit.

Posted in Life, Past, Poetry, Present with tags , , , , , on August 28, 2012 by Shea Atkin

The thoughts come
And they go
Aware of the judgment
To what I deem
Good
Or
Bad
And how often that delusion keeps me
From living authentically

Recognition of existence doesn’t mean it is new
It is acceptance of what is

I choose to sit with the uncomfortable
Simply being present poses it’s own challenges
How often I want to escape…
Just because.

Most of my life was spent escaping from perception

Created delusions to justify behavior

Manipulation of facts to continue believing the lie

The judgment I sit with
Is my own
And my worst critic
Is myself

That said–
I project less on you
When I’m honest about me

Denying reality
To appear better
Only
Makes
Us
Sicker

Truth will set us free.

Feelings are not Facts

Posted in Present with tags , , , , , , , , on May 2, 2011 by Shea Atkin

Sometimes I forget this.

How easy it is for me to get caught up in the day-to-day routine, only to find myself flailing in insecurity.  When I get ‘too busy’, I tend to slack on the things that keep me sane.  It’s the overlooked and unprioritized things when I default to survival mode–for example– prayer, meditation and being present.

For the past couple of weeks, I have been here.  Only upon taking inventory of why I am feeling this chaos, do I find that the answer is quite simple.  I stopped doing the things to maintain my spiritual condition.  It doesn’t matter how much I accomplished in the past.  All that matters is what I presently do.

Holding onto the notion that I have done my fair share will inevitably lead me back to complacency, which is my own personal Hell.

And I enjoy being in the moment so much!  Once I am here, I am home.  I feel comfortable in my own skip, I stop worrying about what people think of me, I really live–instead of just talking about it.

It is so easy for me to slip into having the day take control of me.  Once I pause and remember what is truly important–I slow down, take a few breaths and get primal–spiritually primal.

Making a conscious decision that I will not settle for a counterfeit version of life.  I want the real thing.

My feelings will always lead me astray–true purpose takes determination.

My feelings will always give me an excuse to not move forward.

My feelings will keep me feeling inferior, and will eat me alive.

Thank God my feelings are not facts.