Archive for friendship

Cumulative Integration

Posted in Life, Poetry, Present with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 2, 2011 by Shea Atkin

This poem was written for my Trauma Touch Therapy classmates.  Words cannot really do justice to what we experienced–but this is about as close as I can get to sharing my soul.  TTT, 2011–this one is for you.

 

Sifting through sensations to find the root that was cut off by the mind

Corporately holding space until freedom decides to surface through choice

 

Alive for the first time since the death

The core breathing in the air of acceptance

Sensing the truth which was hidden by a lie

Loving as a verb–using the definition accurately

 

Forever joined by the experience of breaking free

United as a whole–wholly

Giving ourselves permission to live–for the intended purpose we were created

 

Coming home for the first time–

And will stay here for eternity

as ONE.

Grounded Angel

Posted in Present with tags , , , , , , , , , , on May 4, 2011 by Shea Atkin

First off, I want to give a special shoutout to one of my best friends.  http://groundedangel.wordpress.com . Check out her blog, she is AMAZING and a constant source of inspiration for me.  This blog is dedicated to her.

I feel most grounded when I am in the dirt, or in the clouds.  Most of the time I don’t even realized how grounded I am NOT until I experience a renewal of grounding.

Lately I have been feeling kind of lost, because I have gotten away from the daily things that make me, ‘me’.  Being a creation of my Father, I have to be in tune with what His purpose for my life is.  Thankfully, I am not as hard on myself as I used to be.  I can’t tell you how many times I would beat myself up over trivial matters–and in turn, my whole day (or week) would be ruined.  Now, I can take it one day (or one minute) at a time and be perfectly fine with it.  It’s about progress rather than perfection.

Today I went to my friends garden to pull weeds, plant squash and water the produce.  I didn’t realize how much went into creating food until I became a part of the organic solution.  Afterwards, we went to a cute little French bistro and talked about life.  I had THE most amazing time with my friend.  When I came home and put my son down for his nap, I jumped online to catch up with groundedangel’s blog and felt so connected in the process.  I swear, God made this day especially for me.

I’m so grateful for the friends that have been put in my life.  I can’t imagine what life would be without the ones that keep me grounded.  I remember a time, not so long ago, when I felt isolated, alone and misunderstood.  All that changed was my perspective and the desire to not feel that way anymore.  It was time to let go of the old record that played nothing but negativity and say hello to a new way of life that took a little work and a lot of nurturing.  Sure, vulnerability was side effect, but LIFE was the outcome.  Today I live and love and breathe.  I don’t ever want to go back to the way I was before, but I will always remember it, to appreciate where I am today.

Groundedangel and all of my other loves, you are the reason I am who I am.  Keep on ‘being you’.  I wouldn’t have it any other way.  Peace and Love, ,my dear friends.

Prejudice

Posted in Life, Present with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 28, 2011 by Shea Atkin

 

It’s not just about color.  What if we decided to just banish preconceived notions altogether?

 

PREJUDICE–

1.  An unfavorable opinion or feeling formed beforehand or without knowledge, thought or reason.

2. Any preconceived opinion or feeling, either favorable or unfavorable.

3. Unreasonable feelings, opinions or attitudes, especially of a hostile nature, regarding a racial, religious or national group.

4.  Damage or injury; detriment

http://www.dictionary.com

As I read these definitions, I think about how many times I have been guilty of it.  This hits home on a variety of levels.  I think of all the times I have prejudged an instance before it even took place–most of the time resulting in a one-sided approach on my part (because I have already decided the outcome).  Whether good or bad, this means that I was not currently living in the present.  It means that I already had judgement.

How different it would be if I arrived with an open mind.

Learning to see past my pre-judgements, if truly embraced, changes the course of my life.

Instead of assuming, I would listen for commonalities.

I would be able to love with no strings attached.

I would wake up each day without fear of what lies ahead.

We would all be able to share in the fact that we are, in fact, all in the human race–TOGETHER.

My adversaries would become my partners.

There would be no war.

 

Utopia?  Perhaps.  But I don’t think it’s too far fetched if we just allowed understanding and decency into our worlds.

I’m not naive to our current condition.  However, this concept is needed more now than ever.  If we continue to live in ‘life bubbles’, the world around us crumbles and we remain isolated and destruction takes place without knowledge.  It takes hard work and pushing our own buttons (and ego) to purge the inactivity.  Most of the time, we aren’t even aware that we possess a certain prejudice.  It surfaces when least expected and then is pushed back down because of shame or unwillingness to address it.

I choose to start each day with the willingness to admit if I’m wrong.  This doesn’t mean I become a doormat, it means that the weight of the world on my shoulders, lifts.  If I am upset about something (or someone), I pull out a notebook and start writing what area of my life this affects.  From there I can trace it back to the root.  I write out a gratitude list when I’m not feeling particularly grateful for anything.  These steps get me out of myself and into service for others, and in turn, shifts my perspective.

Adhering to the way I always did things is just pure insanity.  If I want change, guess what?  I have to initiate it.  No one can do it for me.  I have to accept the responsibility, follow through, and persevere.  Thank God I’m not in it alone.  There is no way I could do it by myself.  It takes a village and thankfully I’ve got some pretty amazing neighbors in mine.

I pray peace, understanding and willingness to the reader.  I’m in the same boat.  We all are.  Let’s make it a better and richer existence by listening, accepting and loving.

 

 

 

 

Untitled

Posted in Life, Present with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 10, 2010 by Shea Atkin

Taking myself out of the equation grants permission to exude compassion

 

Remnants of granules taken off the shelf to encourage healing

Philosophical debates softened by a wounded , yet educated heart

Piecing together the reason through surrender,

I cling to the knowledge that was derived from the experienced

 

Not tangled up in opinion

Submitting to the power that is greater than my feelings

Uninhibited by relative pursuers, I can be me

Recoiling from the torture that was at one time a daily occurence

 

Synonymous with elation–

But balanced with a steady wisdom from a trusted source

The gift of simplicity is gently restored

 

Flashback to the slavery of self

Conceptualization of insanity

 

Being fragile isn’t such a bad thing–

When I allow a shift in perspective

Shallow just means it is finally coming to the surface…

 

I allow my foundation to change slowly–

And without force–

To produce a faith that is not easily swayed by negativity

 

Collections of truth to diminish fear–

Yet only possible through active participation

I sway back towards the darkness to convince myself of why I chose another road

It creates an instant reminder of the root of my decision

 

Regaining strength from the process of perceived failure

Thankful for the permission to make mistakes.

Freedom

Posted in Present with tags , , , , , , , on November 10, 2010 by Shea Atkin

So, this is what it feels like to me.

Recently I have made some amends to people I love.

The enormity of freedom that I experience now as a result is overwhelming.

Holding onto “righteous justifications” only pushed me deeper into a self-made hole.

I wish I could explain it deeper–I just don’t have the words.

 

FREEDOM

Aligned with my conscious

I follow the path

Away from the vortex

 

Knowing immediately

The concept of Letting Go–

Automatically leaves

An opening for receiving

 

Momentary pride surfaces

But it fades,

As quickly as it came–

Pausing to feel

What the vacancy of resentment is like

 

Unbelievably freeing

Yet still waiting for the catch

I found you the same–

Only completely different

 

Soul amends for the broken heart

Swirling mental journey of our youth

Reconciling only through brokenness

 

At peace with the balance

Restored with humilty

Pardoxically aware

That control truly is an illusion.

It’s okay to feel good.

Posted in Present with tags , , , , , , , , , , on November 2, 2010 by Shea Atkin

Today has been incredibly needed.

I woke up with the intention of being fully present–so I was (and am).

My husband and I took our 2 year old son to the plantation that we were married.  What a different appreciation and perspective that was!  6 years ago, we were looking for perfect photo opportunities–this time, we had a camera, but it was all about the moment.  Ollie was running free, so uninhibited and happy.  He had his parents at a safe enough distance that he felt independent–yet engaged in the roaming and adventuring.  Matt and I were reminiscing about how it looked with all of our decorations years ago, and how it looks now.  The cell phones were off–the outside world was at a distance–it was just the 3 of us, in our own little world.  We were out there for roughly an hour, but it felt like we were lost in time.  Nothing else mattered except for the time were were spending together, being present. Even though it was only 60 minutes (give or take), the quality of that time far surpassed the hours of time spent being somewhere else mentally even though we could all be sitting in the same room together.

Quality time feels good to the soul.  It is what was intended before technology came to town.  It’s all about relearning the basics.  I get so lost in trying to keep up with culture, I forget that what I have is truly what I want.  I have a husband and son who love me, friends that are there for me in good times and bad, a roof over my head, a job that I love and a city that makes me feel at home.  The list could go on and on of things I am grateful for.

Being “actively present” does not come naturally to me.  It’s something that I have to work at.  My mind defaults to working on the past or the future, and the present disappears from the radar.  I learned today, that by being present–sometimes those things naturally clear by themselves.

I will continue the day by nourishing my soul.  Doing things that made me feel good.  Cultivating relationships, being nice, being present.  Not thinking anyone expects anything from me.   It is very empowering.  I feel loved, worthy and fortunate (not something that I normally feel)–so I will continue to savor every second of it.

Our Deepest Fear

Posted in Past with tags , , , , , , , , , , on October 23, 2010 by Shea Atkin

“As I journey into the unknown realm of my 30’s in a few days–many changes are taking place. Partly because of the inevitable evolution that is life, and partly because of my desire to stay as far away from complacency as possible. Over the past month, I have made some choices to utilize parts of me/mind/body/spirit that have been stagnant for quite some time. Over the days that pass I’m starting to recognize extremely positive results in quality of life through relationships, business and interactions in general.

I have loved the following quote for many reasons. But most of all–It gets me out of my insecurity and into the mindset of channeling positivity for the greater good. It’s not about “me”–it’s about others. So the way I read this now is : It is my duty to work on myself because the life of others truly depends on it. We are all created as such individuals–and only we have the capability of doing things that only we were created to do.” -Shea- August 2010

OUR DEEPEST FEAR

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” Marianne Williamson