Space Mountain

While Ollie and I were building blocks this morning, I had a Disney World documentary on in the background.  As soon as the Space Mountain part came up–I started tearing up.  It reminded me of one of the times our grandparents took us down there.  Grandpa and I were the thrill seekers, while Grandma and Piper just watched us make fools of ourselves.  So, Grandpa and I were in line for Space Mountain for a good hour at least.  As soon as our turn came along, for some reason, I freak out and tell him that I cannot do it.  I don’t know what it was, but I just got terrified all of a sudden.  My sweet grandpa was livid, but he kept his cool.  For those of you who knew him–He was definitely not known for his patience!  But, he loved Piper and I with a love that was indescribable.  He sucked it up, and we walked back to Piper and Grandma after waiting in line for over an hour.

I’m not sure of why I remember this so vividly, as I have not thought about it in years.  We were really young, but I remember how much he did for us and how many times “Space Mountain” occurences happened without my finite knowledge.  Unconditional love is a rare and amazing gift.  I didn’t realize what it was until after he was long gone.  I am so grateful to have been able to have him as my grandfather.  I learned so much from his example and he never got to see the result.  I was still a crazy, immature 21 year old when he died–but I like to think that he knew I was a carbon copy of him and that I would turn out alright. We were both completely hardheaded and stubborn, but we learned from our mistakes (eventually).  He actually died a few days after we have one of our famous “spars”, which of course he got the last laugh (as always).  I regretted it for years, but I know that it didn’t really matter, he knew my heart and loved me for it.

I can’t believe that a Space Mountain documentary brought all of this up.  I sit here writing with tears rolling down my face.  Memories are crazy things.  I think what got me is that I picked up  my phone to call him and tell him the memory as soon as it happened–It was second nature. Once I realized he was dead, I lost it.  Ollie was looking at me with a completely puzzled look, I’m not much of a crier.  I’m guessing he was quite confused.  Even though my Grampee has been gone for almost a decade, he still feels very much alive.

I miss him more than I could ever write.  I just hope that I can be as good of a parent to Ollie as he was to me.


3 Responses to “Space Mountain”

  1. Ollie is the luckiest boy in the world, Shea, and you are an awe-inspiring mother. Sure wish I could have been raising my boy now, as I learn so much just by watching you and your son. And a shout out to Matt, one damn fine daddy.

  2. heartfelt words.

    love and peace, …

    Welcome Join Jingle Poetry Potluck week 21,
    Feel free to share 1 to 3 old poems or random poems, cheers.

    Love your talent demonstrated here,
    Hope to see you share.

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