Coping Methods

 

Yesterday, a very important person in my life said– ” I need to go to Life Anonymous (L.A.)!”

I  proceeded to crack up.  Mostly because of the fact that it is so true!  Most of the time, recovery is looked at as weakness.  I have found that to be completely untrue.  The biggies like alcohol, drugs and sex are what are assumed as “problems”– but what about anger, resentment and fear?  These I have found to be equally debilitating.

Coping methods, for me, are established so I can avoid root problems.  If I quit one “behavior”, inevitably it will be replaced with something–if I subscribe to the theory that “energy is neither created nor destroyed”.  Addiction is addiction.  Pure and simple.  Recently I have found myself slipping back into patterns.  Not symptoms, but patterned negative behavior.  Not because I want to, it’s just an easy go-to.

If I don’t take care of what I innately know about myself–I start resenting people and situations.  Plus, I have the added anxiety of reacting instead of being proactive.  This always leads to disaster.  I believe that everything is a lesson and we learn from our experiences, but I also have the choice to use my knowledge of cause and effect.  It’s about honesty.  Being honest about who and I am what I am feeling–not what I should or could be feeling.  I have to deal with the present, and only then can change truly occur.

I had to sit down with myself today and ask some hard questions.  What I came up with is that I really need to look at life as a continuum.  Stop beating myself up about what I didn’t do, and just work on “the now”.  The anxiety immediately vanished.  The answer is simple, but not easy.  Switching one addiction for another will work for a while, but will not work in the long run.  I have to honestly ask myself what the base of the issue is.  Whether it is fear or insecurity—is it selfish or self-seeking?  Only then can I work on steps to alleviate the symptoms I encounter.

 

 

 

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6 Responses to “Coping Methods”

  1. onemomtalking Says:

    Thanks for this post. I’m in complete agreement. Watching my two boys in recovery, and being in recovery myself as their mom, I know that it is a choice that requires both strength and vulnerability, commitment and surrender, and a big dose of self-honesty that many people never have to achieve in their lives. Keep it up. You are in my prayers!

  2. There are reasons why drugs and alcohol have been around since man kind developed a conscience. The same can be said for religion, philosophy and even physical activites such as sports. The mind is woefully inept at dealing with things. Something is always needed. Writing seems to work for me.

    Most people, myself included at times, do not take the time to ask the hard questions, as you have done. I applaud you at your ability and willingness to do so.

    I am glad you shared this with us.

    http://timkeen40.wordpress.com

    • So true, Tim!
      Writing is definitely my most productive coping method.
      The hard questions are hard–but progress is impossible if I don’t.
      Thanks for the comment–it’s good to know that I’m not alone!

  3. Nah, you are not alone. One reason it is so easy to write a story that will appeal to so many people is that so many people have a great deal of things in common. You pick a topic, write it well, and you will hit someone right in the heart or kick them in the stomach. Either way, you will get a reaction.

    Keep writing and keep on coping.

    Tim

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