Escaping Serenity

Today has already been an exceptionally great day.

Not too long ago, I would be avoiding the possibility of the previous statement.  For me, sleeping was a coping mechanism that was used to escape whatever it was that I didn’t want to deal with.  My body would convince itself that fatigue was setting in and that I needed to nap when Ollie did.  Granted, I napped frequently when he was little–but he is 2 now.  The only one who knows (and is able to act on) what my limits are, is me–so  I decided to work on some “stuff”.

Everybody’s “stuff” is different, but the way I see it–It’s all connected. “Good” and “Bad” are judgements.  I spent way too long living in judgement mode.  These days I choose to accept rather than adjust the way it is.

Back to my original thought–what came to me while I was working on my last client was how long I spent “escaping serenity”.  It was the postponement of the inevitable.  Shoving “stuff” under the surface only works for so long.  By this time, the issue has amplified and is the farthest thing from serene.  It was escaping chaos.   The thing about scheduling time to deal with “stuff”, is that it initially gets worse before it gets better.  The symptoms are very apparent and the intended serenity is on the polar opposite side.  The good thing is this:  the symptoms only last as long as I let them—and as long as there is a root to hold onto.

So, even though initially the baggage seems to outweigh the potential positive growth–it is necessary for change.  I’m still smack dab in the middle of said change.  It’s uncomfortable at times, but the unlearning that I am consistently doing is life changing, for lack of a better term.  Escaping the present didn’t help deal with the past–It made me a slave to it.  I continue to struggle with the ritual of habits that I can easily slip into–but through the journey I am learning that the payoff for doing the hard work first is worth it.

Ignorance isn’t really bliss.  It’s Hell.

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4 Responses to “Escaping Serenity”

  1. Thank you Shea. You are an old soul indeed. I needed to read your words and to adapt to these thoughts. As it turns out it is a great day!

  2. Very well said Shea.. May you continue to enjoy better days..
    I too second your thoughts- Ignorance is not a bliss- http://oliviasbiopiclog.wordpress.com/2010/09/18/from-past-to-making-it-participle/

    Wishing you all the very best in every thing you do, sleep more often and deep.. 🙂
    Hugs xx

  3. It has been a while, hope that you have a promising and fulfilling 2011 ahead.
    We have enjoyed your support in 2010, a great big thanks here, cheers!

    We will have our 17th potluck beginning this Sunday, Hope to see you in.
    http://www.jinglepoetry.blogspot.com/

    our theme this week is: “the road ahead”, but you are welcome to share old poems or poems unrelated to our theme..

    The more you share, the happier we are…
    You have been a gem to our community, keep shining with your fabulous talent and have fun!

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