“Analyzing what I’m doing

Sometimes I have a grasp on things

Other times, when I am sober

I realize I never did

It all just turns into one big illusion

Blood pressure rises

Tears fall

Heart breaks

No exact reason to pinpoint it on

All just consequences

Of my mostly irrational actions

Making faces to prove to people

I really am what I only dream of being

Light is irritating

But darkness is depressing

I don’t know what I want

And even if I did

I would get it and the challenge would be over

And would turn from important to irrelevant

With the snap of a finger.” -Shea 2002


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