1999- Age 19

“Sanity is seeming to be a gift of the past.

Reality comes in and sets the stage for life

Or is it truly reality?

Our minds make us think it is, but–

It could quite possibly be an illusion

An illusion of things hoped and dreamed for

Or maybe of things left unsaid

Uncertainty takes over and confuses

But somehow puts everything in it’s rightful place.

The things that used to be vital for survival

Are merely 10 cent objects being sold at a yard sale

Material possessions begin to fade and deteriorate

Leaving only a memory of the new and updated version.

People change and so do plans

And do the ones that seem to stay the same

Really stay the same?

Or did our narrow way of thinking cause us to make a false determination?”


Being 19 was such a frustrating and wonderful year.  Quite bittersweet.

I was in massage school and living on my own.

Not a child–but definitely not an adult.

Rereading all my old stuff ignites those feeling of passion, angst, rage, love and confusion–all over again, and all too familiar.

It keeps me humble, focused and grounded.

How easily I can slip right back into old patterns.


2 Responses to “Insanity”

  1. It was heart-breaking to see you disappear into the fog but AWESOME to see you break through the other side—stronger, saner and with a heart for God. 🙂 Thanks for the opportunity to be your friend.

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